What are you thankful for?
What is thankfulness?
Thankfulness is a way of bringing to mind what we have, what is working well and what we appreciate in our lives.
It is so easy to notice what is wrong, what we lack, or what is going round and round in our minds causing us to worry.
It is also easy to take what we do have for granted.
For example, how often do we pause and appreciate the things our bodies allow us to do? Even if there are parts of our health that aren’t as good as we’d like, we can bring our attention to the parts of our body that are working well.
Thankfulness can sometimes bring our attention towards what we do have. This might be good friends, supportive family, a job, a home, a bed to sleep in, or simply a moment of peace in the middle of a busy day.
This isn’t the same as pretending everything is fine when, in reality, there are things that are troubling us or we have experienced loss.
It isn’t some type of forced positivity.
We may be devastated when a relationship ends or a loved one dies. Yet, even in the midst of our sorrow, we can be thankful for other people or experiences in our lives.
It is possible to be thankful and grieving at the same time.
It can be easy to forget to be thankful, especially when we long for life to be different from how it is.
I experienced a sudden loss when a significant relationship ended out of the blue. I was bereft because the whole framework of my life changed dramatically.
Despite how I was feeling, I was able to be thankful for the wonderful people in my life who cared about me, listened to me and accompanied me as I grieved the loss.
I also started to notice what brought me comfort.
One of those things was something very simple: the comfort of a warm milky drink.
It might seem insignificant, but when life feels difficult, noticing and appreciating these small moments can matter.
We don’t always have to look for something big to be thankful for.
Sometimes it can be as simple as a warm drink, a conversation with someone we love, a beautiful view, a familiar routine or a moment when we feel safe and at peace.
Thankfulness doesn’t take away the things that are difficult. It doesn’t mean that we have to look on the bright side or find something positive in every situation.
Perhaps it is simply about making space to notice what is good alongside what is difficult.
Thankfulness can improve emotional wellbeing
Research about gratitude discovered those who chose to showed noticing what they’re thankful for and found ways of expressing gratitude had better mental health.
They were more satisfied with their lives and had less anxiety and depression. One of the ways to expres thankfulness is by writing down what you’re grateful for.
Sometimes, when life feels overwhelming, it can be difficult to notice anything beyond what is going wrong. Counselling can provide a space to slow down, make sense of what you’re carrying and perhaps begin to see things from a slightly different perspective.
I’ve written more about how to cope with distressing feelings if you’d like to read more.
At times all of us need support and you don’t need to wait until you’re feeling desperate to reach out for help.
If you would like to work with me, please get in touch